Some Change Will Do You Good

Before you say anything, I know I promised an OOTD today, and I fully intended on documenting it. However, when I got home from school, it was beginning to get cloudy and I was recruited to babysit a sick 3-year-old. 

Lately, I've been feeling like a lot has been changing. For instance, I've been looking and looking for a job so that I can really start saving up to go to Washington next Fall. I've opened this shop, but I don't have a following yet and what if that doesn't happen for a while? I know I'm going to have to pinch pennies and not impulsively buy every pretty dress I see, but it's so, so hard when I hardly ever come into money. 

I'm also going to the actual boob doctor himself in a couple of weeks, and while having a large chest is incredibly inconvenient, a breast reduction is a major surgery. I don't know how high my pain tolerance is... I mean, I've had my lip pierced, but does that even measure up in comparison? Something else heavy on my mind is guys. Because guys don't hardly notice me, but when they do, all they want to see is my chest. I'm pretty horrified by this, but after I have a surgery to remove a large chunk of breast from my chest, are guys even going to talk to me? I know that that is a trivial argument to have, but it definitely runs through my mind a lot. 

But big changes can be looked at as scary or exciting... I want to see them as exciting. And as Cheryl Crowe has pointed out, some change can do you good. 

For instance, my fourth hour math class is really not a good situation for me to be in, and normally I would just stick it out because I'm more of the suffer in silence type. Last month, though, my teacher was getting really heated in an attack on my beliefs. I'm not going to mention my belief system or what she actually said to me here, but I felt attacked and I cried a little bit (and I don't cry in front of people--not ever). I talked to my counselor and she has changed my schedule for next semester. I'm going to have another hour off now and I will no longer have to dread going to my fourth hour class because something might get thrown at me or looked down upon. 

I like to think that everything happens for a reason, and hopefully the doors closing in my life will open new ones and take me to where I want to be--anywhere but here. 

xx

PS Hopefully, I will be able to take OOTD pics tomorrow.